How to handle anger?
We've all felt angry at some point in our lives; some more, some less, but all of us, without exception. The challenge is how do we express that anger in the best way possible and without causing harm?
Anger is part of being human; it certainly expresses itself in different ways, sometimes even in ways we can't understand. It may be due to a past event, a bad experience, or an emotion. Anger can range from minor annoyance to complete frustration.
I'll tell you that there's a part of our brain called the amygdala, and it's this part that functions as a command center for all of our emotions. It's like a small memory warehouse. It's the area responsible for our reactions, our survival instincts. And when we express anger, we also use this small part. When we get angry, three types of alarms are activated: we fight, we run, or we stay. In any of these scenarios, a hormonal storm is produced that puts us on alert, which can translate into:
- Frustration
- Impatience
- Profanity
- Aggressiveness
- Shouting
Why do I get angry?
Anger is triggered by a multifactorial situation. Some causes are issues we haven't resolved throughout our lives. Being mistreated, threatened, or abused are some of the reasons we might feel anger. It's important to identify the moment in our lives where we experienced this feeling in order to work through it.
Can I control it?
Before answering this question, it's necessary to delve into our childhood and upbringing years. Managing and expressing anger is also learned as children. If we saw our parents express their feelings calmly, we will do so. Otherwise, we will carry this approach into our adult lives and do it very similarly to theirs.
Can it be controlled? The answer is: Of course it can! Although it requires following certain steps. First and foremost, you have to recognize that the example you had in your childhood probably wasn't entirely healthy, and that this is being reflected in your adult life. Therapy with a professional is a great tool for working through anger, analyzing past experiences, the current situation, and everything you've experienced to channel, understand, and manage them.
How to express anger?
Anger can manifest itself in a variety of ways. There are times when we are consciously angry and pretend we aren't. Not all angry people look angry.
Anger can have positive connotations in our lives; if managed correctly, it can bring us great benefits. Anger is harmful when it is ignored, when we don't delve into the cause and work through the feelings surrounding that anger. It manifests itself through aggression, and if not treated properly, it can trigger other conditions such as anxiety, depression, work problems, relationship problems, and other issues.
On the other hand, when anger is managed properly, it puts you in a position of response, attention, and work. You begin to see anger as a positive reaction that will help you achieve your goals, put you in a state of reflection and analysis, and will be useful in many areas of your life.
When you acknowledge anger, you immediately take charge of your emotions and thoughts. Anger is a normal emotion; you don't have to avoid it; you have to learn to use it and express it confidently and peacefully. As we acknowledge it, we create space for reflection; that's where we develop a positive and healthy response.
By recognizing our anger, we learn to limit its scope before it reaches the point where it harms us, knowing that we are in complete control of our emotions and our reactions to it.
I think, therefore I act
Expressing anger irrationally can cause many problems, as it simply disseminates that anger instead of addressing it. It will generate discontent, attack, and retaliation, and the feedback loop may become stronger, causing irreversible damage. It's such a display that it only causes a breakdown in communication, to say the least. Before unleashing all this anger, it's suggested to take a deep breath, reflect, and respond from a place of mindfulness, rather than in the heat of the moment.
Learn to manage your anger and improve your well-being. At Psycolocity, we can help. Contact us and BE your best self.