What types of love exist?
Psychologist Robert Sternberg, a professor at Yale University and well-known for his research on intelligence, creativity, and love, proposed the so-called Triangular Theory of Love. His goal was to explain the phenomenon of this truly complex feeling and that of interpersonal relationships that are loving. On the one hand, he explains the elements that, according to his thesis, comprise it, and then makes combinations that result in a classification of the different types that exist. In fact, although you may have heard of other theories, this is one of the most famous because it helps us understand, in a fairly simple way, one of the most complex and most important feelings in our lives.
Its elements
According to the psychologist, this feeling is made up of three elements: intimacy , passion , and commitment . These are qualities that are manifested in romantic relationships and that are intertwined with each other.
Intimacy refers to the connection established between two people. It is the trust, affection, closeness, or friendship that exists in a relationship.
On the other hand, there's passion , which is the most energetic part of the relationship. It refers to excitement, physical attraction, that need we feel to be with another person and have sex with them. Passion refers to the drive, the chemistry that is created between two people.
And finally, there's commitment . In this case, it's the decision to stay together despite the good and bad times that arise in a relationship. It could be considered the strongest element, the one that includes the history of two people who share their lives or certain moments in it.
Sternberg places these elements at each of the vertices of his theory's pyramid of love. At the top is intimacy, and on either side are commitment and passion. Thus, depending on the combinations created, romantic relationships are established, which of course can vary depending on both the relationship itself and the moment in which it is occurring.
1.- Consummated
We start with the center of the triangle, which Sternberg considers the consummate. It combines intimacy, passion, and commitment. It's the perfect one, also known as ideal or mature.
This is the kind of love we all aspire to, although it's difficult to achieve and, of course, to maintain. However, not every intimate relationship you have throughout your life will result in this kind of love; rather, we reserve it for a few people. Over the years, you'll have many types of relationships, but not all of them will provide you with that emotional and sexual connection. You'll only find it with those that truly leave a lasting impression.
2.- Fatuous
This is a relationship where passion and commitment predominate, but it lacks intimacy. It's characteristic of two people who feel a strong desire, a great chemistry, and want to be together, but don't have much in common, or haven't discovered it yet. It's also the kind of love in which you show the best version of yourself.
3.- Sociable
In this case, commitment and intimacy come together, but not passion. This is common in couples whose desire has disappeared, but who continue because of the bond they have formed or because they simply want to be together. It can last for many years.
There's support between the two people, a desire to help each other and share emotions, but there's no sexual attraction. It's also known as Companion Love, and it can even be confused with other emotional bonds such as pity. You stay with the other person so as not to hurt them, or vice versa.
4.- Romantic
It combines passion and intimacy. It's the one that has inspired the most films and novels. The two feel a great attraction and excitement, while sharing closeness and trust. It's characteristic of the beginning of a relationship and can even include commitment, in which case we would be talking about the so-called Consummation if all three elements are present.
In this type, since there is no commitment, certain conflicts or confusion may arise. You experience very intense emotional experiences, but they are also vulnerable and unstable.
5.- Empty
There's only commitment, no passion or intimacy. There's no trust between the partners, nor any attraction. They stay together because of some kind of interest or the bonds they've created. There's a commitment to stay together, but nothing else comes together.
6.- Infatuation
It's at the top of the Sternberg triangle. There's a lot of passion between the two, but no commitment or intimacy. This is characteristic of relationships based on sex. It's more of a romance that usually ends fairly quickly in most cases, although sometimes it drags on without the other elements coming into play. There are only intimate relationships.
7.- Affection
This is what embodies what is known as true friendship. There is neither passion nor commitment, but rather intimacy and trust.
8.- The lack of love
The American psychologist also speaks of this type to refer to relationships in which none of the aforementioned elements are present.
And you, what kind of love have you experienced?
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