Sadness or depression?
I have to start by telling you that it's not the same thing. "Just keep at it, keep your spirits up, and you'll be better off" are phrases used by those who don't know the difference. They certainly say it to try to help us, but it's clearly a mistake.
Depression is often thought to be the fault of the person who suffers from it. It can be thought of as a form of manipulation or whim. Sometimes, counseling someone suffering from depression isn't easy, because not knowing the differences between sadness and depression can make it very easy to become confused.
Here I'm going to tell you how to distinguish them:
Which is which? Let's talk about Mateo and Matías.
Mateo had a terrible week, feeling very discouraged and with no desire to do anything at all. He doesn't want to spend time with anyone and cries easily. These are painful moments because they coincide with the death of his wife, Ana. He constantly checks his cell phone and spends his time looking at photos of her. He hasn't showered in a couple of days, hasn't changed his clothes, and doesn't even go out to buy food. He's been living on nothing but fast food.
Matías, on the other hand, feels very sad, very downcast, and completing his day is a triumph. He feels generally listless and constantly anxious. He doesn't feel like doing anything, he feels completely incapable of resolving the situation, and he's overcome with a feeling of being lost. Nothing cheers him up, nothing motivates him, smiling has become an impossible dream, and he doesn't know how to continue.
As we can see, both are experiencing signs of sadness. In Mateo's case, there is a tangible reason for his sadness; in Matías's case, his sadness goes deeper; his daily life has been completely disrupted, and finding a way out has become a challenge. Matías clearly presents with signs of depression.
Sadness
Sadness is a natural and essential emotion in every person's life; it's part of us, and we need to acknowledge it. It's completely normal. Sadness can be caused by many reasons: a loss, an accident, or a bad day; normal life circumstances. It can also be triggered by everyday experiences, a bad night, receiving bad news, or even hormonal changes.
One characteristic of sadness is its temporality; it can last a few hours or even a few days, and it doesn't disrupt our normal lives. It's common for our sadness to coexist with our daily lives. There are times when, despite sadness, we can have a good moment of joy or satisfaction; it doesn't last forever, and we may feel sad, but if someone invites us to dinner, we let ourselves be pampered.
Depression
There's a picture of sadness, but there's more. Being sad isn't the same as being depressed; but being depressed is certainly being sad. In depression, temporality begins to take precedence; sadness begins to last longer than we'd like, its duration begins to drag on, and we don't know when the sadness we feel will end.
A person in a depressed state finds no interest in anything at all, and as a result, they become completely inactive. Everyday activities such as taking a bath, changing clothes, eating, and sleeping become a nightmare; the mere thought of doing them hurts. Thoughts of defeat, destruction, negativity, and desolation arise; there is no joy, and finding pleasure in anything becomes extremely difficult.
To do?
Depression is debilitating; it becomes very difficult to lead a calm, normal, and stable life. Sadness is overcome with small actions, with a gesture or a word from someone we love, going outside to breathe, going to eat with someone, watching a program that distracts us, thinking, and then something else, and then on to the next thing.
In depression, the story changes. You need therapy with a psychology professional who can help you recognize, understand, manage, and heal these feelings. A professional will guide you on the path to recovery, teach you how to identify your emotions and feel better.
A gesture, a word from a loved one is more than welcome, but advice before a bout of depression may not be entirely helpful. But beware of the "Hang in there, keep your spirits up, and you'll feel better" sentiment; depression goes beyond a bout of sadness. Only a professional can help you overcome it. Therapy is something we all need; don't see it as a negative thing.
If you want to improve your level of well-being, in Psycolocity We can help you. Contact us and BE your best self.